I can’t say that I accomplished all that much today. I had high hopes, things just didn’t quite get done like I would have wanted them to… I woke up early this morning …

After breakfast I got back in bed to watch the last two episodes of Everwood …

Then I got on the computer, talked with some people – including a long conversation with Bouse which ended with a phone call where we ended up talking for another long period and then got into airbands stuff. Around noon I finally got myself out of the chair and onto my bike in an attempt to just get away for a while and it was nice and I’m really glad that I did it. Did it clear my mind of anything? Probably not. Was it nice to just get out and have some uninterrupted time to myself and my music? Definitely!

I came home, worked on some airbands stuff. I’m trying to make everything work in the budget they want, but I don’t think it’s going to work. I don’t want to loose video (and neither do they), but I think we’re going to have to cut either video or one of the stages. I’m trying to convince Matt that they don’t need a second stage if they are only going to have one judge panel. In the amount of time that it will take for the judges to prepare for the next number we can have the stage set. We’ve got a lot of things to work out so we’ll have to see what we can do, but we’re about $5k over budget right now and I think we can come really close to hitting the budget if we scratch a stage – and then if we move his inside show from the gym to the field too – we can save on labor which then should put us where we need to be. We’ll see how it goes – I’ve sent him lots of stuff and am waiting to hear back so hopefully tomorrow I’ll have a better idea of what is going on.

After airbands, I think I talked on the computer for a while, watched some more TV (Smallville) and then kind of took a power nap. Then I finally took my shower for the day and then my mom called to check up on things. She’s been spying on my through my blog… (Hi mom!) I guess she’s been doing a good job of reading between the lines… Then I talked with Alison for a couple and then started watching Seabiscut which I’m paused about 45 mins away from the end of right now. (I was falling asleep watching it and figured that I should take a break to blog and then I could fall asleep watching it and wouldn’t worry.)

Hopefully I can accomplish some more tomorrow – I’m “free” until about 3 when I have to go to the Bob to show the “Book of Mormon” video. I need to make a trip to temecula for an oil change and to get that tire fixed and it’s also been a long time since I’ve been to Costco and am running low on some key supplies… Well, I’m off to finish the movie and go back to worrying …

I’m not even sure what to say tonight… I almost don’t even want to write, but I need to (but there are a lot of things that I need to do in life – and some things that I needed to do in life that are going to haunt me for the rest of my life) – so I’m going to do some of the things that I say I need to do and not sit here and regret not doing them. No regrets. It’s way past my bed time, and I’m really tired, but I can’t see myself sleeping yet… I’m seriously sitting here shaking though and it’s driving me crazy.

I had a real hard time staying focused at school today. I didn’t want to be there. Classes were fairly boring as usual, but I tried to make the best of them. Business Law went ok, but we didn’t cover much ground. Spent most of the time talking on AIM during ISDS because we were in the lab today – Ryan and Alison mostly, a little with Rande and Mike. Econ was pretty funny most of the time – he kept talking about slapping people and punching a few, but I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

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… This whole marriage thing is so tricky…. I know that marriage is something that you have to work at and that it may not come easily, but I also believe that it should be easy and shouldn’t require a lot of active work. It should be natural. Yes, it may require work at times, but it shouldn’t be a full time job as I hear so many people saying. As Jerry Bryant would say, when someone asks you what you do, reply with “I love my spouse.” As stupid as it sounds, I can go with that. All you need is love.

Well, I finally left the campus at about 6:30, talked with Aimee for a couple, then Ryan again for a bit… Nathaniel… Alison… Dinner at Chili’s to discuss some airbands stuff with pyro (I don’t know what I’m going to do… hopefully tomorrow will tell!), then Alison, Lauren, Aimee, Lauren, Aimee, Lauren, Alison (somewhere along those lines…) And then talking with everyone online in between, during and after all the phone calls.

These next couple days/weeks are going to be rough… I need to put a closing on some thoughts but hopefully I can do that tomorrow without distractions. …

OK, really want to get to sleep here, but I have to write tonight so let’s see if I can get this done quickly…

went to aimee’s .. we did some stuff – well she did some stuff, then we went to WalMart and then In & Out. Came back to the house, watched Legally Blonde 2 and did a little bit of talking during it.

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We went to the CUI basketball games – I brought the camera to take some pictures, but Aimee ended up taking most of the 600 or so we got tonight.

I need to elaborate more on everything here, but I need to get some sleep – and if I start putting my thoughts on paper, I’m never going to get in that bed. …

Another fun filled day at CSU Fullerton almost down. I’m waiting for my last class to start now. I left Fallbrook at about 8:45 this morning, met up with Aimee at South Coast Plaza for breakfast – although it was lunch by the time we got to eating – (at McDonalds!) and then it was off to another boring day. I got here about 11:45 and was able to score a parking spot after only about 5-10 minutes of waiting. Classes weren’t bad, just boring as we still aren’t really doing anything – or at least anything new – in any of the classes. I was well behaved today and only hopped on the Internet during class a couple of times so I at least pretended to be paying attention more than I have in the past. My thoughts still weren’t on class though, but I did a decent job of keeping myself on task.

Well, I’m going to look over the chapter here really quick and then try to stay awake during class. No more interesting showers today…

Accounting was boring today. It’s a little better than my pervious accounting class, but everything is just so drawn out… I seriously need to find a better method of taking these classes… why can’t they just give me the book… let me do it and then leave me alone… I could get so much more done!

I’m off to bed now… very interested in what tomorrow will bring… …

Woke up a little on the late side this morning after finally getting a little bit of sleep last night. I couldn’t tell you why exactly, but I could not sleep last night – I was tossing and turning most of the night trying to get to sleep. …

Didn’t end up going for a ride or doing anything this morning because I was just dead tired – and felt a little sick, like a cold or something coming on. I watched Joan of Arcadia over breakfast and then read in my business law book for a little bit before hoping in the shower (without Alison – again!) to get ready for another wedding at GT. The wedding went alright, nothing too special. Not as crazy as yesterday – it gave me some time to spare which was nice. I got to talk with Aimee for a little bit before the wedding and we hashed out some plans for the coming months with airbands, cheer videos and stuff.

After the wedding I came home, talked with Alana, then Alison for a while – I sent her some music she was looking for and that’s basically where I am now. I’ve got lots of homework that I need to do, but I’m just beat so I think I’m going to pop in a movie and head to bed and try to get up in the morning and get some homework knocked out before I drive to Fullerton.

Woke up and ran down to the school to meet the football people so they could blow up some balloons. I thought I was going to be out of there in less than an hour, but I ended up not getting out of there until 1 p.m. but I did get some things done that I’ve needed to get done for a while now like the airband packets and a small update to ncairbands.com!

After that, home for lunch and a shower before heading to my favorite wedding venue for a very busy wedding. I had a singer & guitarist, 3 cds, 2 clergies and just other stuff to make things crazy. Once I went down below to setup, I didn’t leave until after the wedding – that doesn’t happen very often! Everything went good though – and the Mackie board even worked fine for me today.

Pyro called me during the wedding to tell me that they had 3 Treo 600s at Best Buy and I told him that if he wanted to wait until after the wedding I’d probably go out there with him. Well, I did and it was a good thing because I had to give them info about the account, but his port is supposed to be completed at 1:42 tomorrow (Sunday). We’ll see. I’m still not sure what to do with myself, but I think I may ended up buying a Treo, using it as my primary and using my Sanyo as my internet phone/spare phone to give away to someone if needed. I could save $20/month by not having a second phone, but at the same time, I kind of like having 2 phones and I wouldn’t be able to buy a new phone at a discount otherwise, unless I pawned my old phone off on one of the parents… After Best Buy we went over to Outback and stuffed our faces while we waited for Batchelor to join us.

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So what does Aimee mean to me? Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this for most of the day and I just can’t find the words to describe her. Aimee means the world to me. There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for her. We may not be the closest of friends and we may have many secrets still, but I think we’ve always had something special – in her own words: “… I wouldn’t be able to live without you!” She is the only person that I’ve fallen in love with at first sight. I’ve been in love with Aimee since the first time I saw her and I’ve grown to love her more almost everyday of our 7 1/2 years together. I always thought there was a very high chance that she was the one and always hoped that one day I would be lucky enough to call her my wife and spend the rest of my life with her by my side. Aimee is really the only person that I’ve ever lost sleep over. Things feel so wonderful when we are together, I’m the person that I want to be – I’m happy. The more time I spend away from her, the more I miss her and want to be with her. God has taught me what love is through Aimee (the clergies did an interesting thing with my favorite quote today – I wish I had recorded it – they elaborated on each line of 1st Corinthians 13 as they read through it – it was perfect!) Aimee is the only person where I can truly say that I worry about her happiness before my own. Aimee is my life. My life belongs to two people – God & Aimee Nichole. I guess the best single answer is that Aimee means everything to me.

I don’t know if that was the answer that Paul or anyone else wanted to hear, but that’s as close as I can get to the truth right now. So there, it’s out. Everyone can know it. Obviously, almost everyone that has known me for any period of time has known that – I’ve even had almost complete strangers come up to me and comment on it…

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Now I’m off to dream …

Today was hard. I kept telling myself that I was going to do my best to make sure that things wouldn’t be different, and I think I did a pretty good job of trying, but just wasn’t getting any support in return until the latter part of the day.

I woke up late because I had gone to bed late, didn’t find any messages that needed to be dealt with immediately anywhere – ate some breakfast while watching smallville and then it was off to get ready to go to Poway. Ryan met me at my house and we drove down to pick up Batchelor in Escondido and then met Pyro at Poway HS. The meeting went good – I’m pretty sure that they are looking to hire us to do the show for them, but they just want the tech side covered – not too much on the admin side of things which I guess is good because I’m not sure that I have the time to devote to the admin side of things at this point. I’m going to have to sit down over the weekend and first part of the week and really hash out plans and figure out what things are going to cost and what liabilities are going to be involved. It’s going to be a lot different doing this for another school.

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I don’t think that I accomplished anything today other than going to Poway (and lunch at Oscar’s with the boys…) and I honestly couldn’t even start to tell you what I did for the entire afternoon & evening I had here at the house. I must have been talking with people and dealing with stuff, but I can’t say I got anything done. I think it’s time for me to end this for tonight… I’m either going to hit the sack or if I think I have enough tears left to attempt to reply to Alison’s email from the other day I’ll try to get through that before I go to sleep tonight.

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Just got back from Denny’s in San Clemente with Bouse …

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Backtracking now, something I don’t think I posted earlier is that Aimee is actually going to be going to PA now next week Wed-Mon. …

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Now I think I’m off to get ready and then try to get some sleep tonight. …

Today was interesting to say the least… I woke up this morning and after checking my phones for missed calls/messages I woke up the computer to find an IM from who else but Aimee – and the fun part was she had just sent it so I didn’t miss her. …

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I called up Batchelor & pyro on the way home and we decided to meet up for dinner. Pyro had to go down to the sports arena in order to get tickets for Disney Princesses on Ice for tomorrow night so we figured that we’d hit up the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. When we got to Fashion Valley though we decided to try out Uno and then went to the Apple Store for a while and then over to The Cheesecake Factory for dessert. Uno was pretty good, but I was full after just eating one pice of pizza (after eating the bread before hand). …

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Look into my eyes – you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart – search your soul
And when you find me there you’ll search no more
Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for
You know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

Look into my heart – you will find
There’s nothin’ there to hide
Take me as I am – take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

There’s no love – like your love
And no other – could give more love
There’s nowhere – unless you’re there
All the time – all the way

Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
I would fight for you – I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you – Ya I’d die for you

Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

I feel another sleepless night coming on… …

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