Tag Archives: relationships

Bid for Connection

Bishop Rasmussen spoke in sacrament meeting of the Los Alamos ward conference this past Sunday regarding bids for connection. He says there are three things we can do: turn away, turn against or turn towards.

He used the example of a married couple, but it would apply to anyone and could be related to how we respond or offer ourselves to the Savior. He related that if his wife was to come in and ask him if he would like to go for a walk with her, he has three options for responding to her. He could take offense at her request (bid for connection) and accuse her of calling him fat and lazy. I believe this was his turning against example. Alternatively, we could say I’m too busy right now, or turn away. Of course, he could turn towards his wife and say, yes, I would love to go for a walk with you. Or, he could respond and say, I’m in the middle of something important here, but how about after you get back from your walk we spend some time together.

I know that I am guilty of not turning towards people always. Sometimes we get set into doing what we are doing and don’t make the time we should for those around us. Let us all strive to be better at making and accepting bids for connection.

Sittin’ on a Bench at West Town Mall

Wow, two nights in a row. What must be wrong? Today was quite interesting. I guess in many ways it was a typical Sunday, but it was different in many ways. First off, all I wanted to do was sleep this morning and I really didn’t want to get up and get going for church. I pulled myself out of bed about 8:30 to make breakfast, prepare a lesson and have time to get ready with all the other stuff. I still barely made it to my first meeting at 11.

The Diffley’s spoke today a lot on education and preparing for the future. The typical talks about saving money, getting a good education, etc. I do keep wondering if I should go back to school, but I don’t know why I would do such a thing. It isn’t going to help me advance in my current job, but maybe I could learn something that would help me or maybe I just do it for the sake of doing it. Then reality hits me and I have to ask when in the world would I make time for school amongst the other things I’m already doing? Something would have to give and I’d have to start practicing a lot more selective neglect.

The Diffley’s spoke tonight at branch prayer about relationships. It wasn’t the typical marriage talk, but they kind of continued from some things they had mentioned this afternoon. Whenever possible marry someone within your race and your religion. It makes things easier down the road, especially when children come into the picture. I’d like to think I can handle that, but sometimes I wonder at 27 if that is going to happen. I may have the house and the car for the family, but there is no family in what I can see. They shared the experience of their first date. Sister Diffley said it was the best first date she’d ever had. Paul was the perfect gentleman. They had a nice dinner in Balboa and then she said something about a place in Westwood that had an ice cream with something on top and he said let’s go! I thought that sounded so totally like me. Drive to Arizona for dinner? OK. Vegas for dessert? No problem.

They said you need to communicate well. There will be give and takes. You need some common interests and similarities. I agreed with everything they said. I was happy I went as I was considering not going so I could write to Tara and get to bed at a reasonable time. I still did write to Tara, and I’m not getting to bed when I should, especially considering my sleep deficit I already have from this past weekend. This probably isn’t going to help my resolve to get up early and get back in the habit of reading in the mornings.

This was the second Sunday in a row that I didn’t go to the Dowden’s. This time it was their fault! Sister Dowden wasn’t feeling well so she cancelled dinner. I couldn’t eat anyway, so I guess it didn’t matter. I was so starving when I came home from church, but nothing sounded good. I ate a bit of Maegan’s leftovers from Oscar’s, but they just weren’t cutting it. I guess I’m going to be trying a new diet of not eating much. I love food so much that it really gets to me when I don’t feel like eating.

I gave a lesson in elders quorum today on Elder Wirthlin’s talk “Come What May, and Love It.” When I first read it yesterday it wasn’t really speaking to me, but this morning I was getting all sorts of good things out of it and President Monson’s talk “Finding Joy in the Journey.” I didn’t have much time, so we only covered the first one briefly in elders quorum today, but I got the benefit of studying both of them! It is quite possible that my favorite story from conference was the one Elder Wirthlin shared of his daughter and the blind date that turned out to be there to pick up one of the other daughters for baby-sitting. He suggest we learn to laugh at things and not get stressed over the trivial things. I can think of many times when I’ve laughed things off. I love it when people are in such a hurry to get to the next red light! He also counsels that we should seek for the eternal instead of getting caught up in the moment. The parking spot doesn’t matter in the big picture. I’m a big believer in that good things come from adversity and our trials, which was his third point: the principle of compensation. Finally he suggests we “put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.” Sometimes this is the hardest one, but the hardest things also come with the richest rewards.

I also really enjoyed President Monson’s talk on fining joy in the journey. It reminds me of the song Simple Miracles performed by Emerson Drive:

It’s a dream that never dies
It’s the wonder in your eyes
it’s the magic in your touch
Every star and every wish
I wake each day and live
A life that’s filled with simple miracles

We really need to spend more time stopped and smelling the roses, enjoying a butterfly in flight and all the other simple miracles that surround us everyday.

I guess I might as well get used to it;
She’ll take her time ’cause I don’t mind
Waitin’ on a woman
(slightly modified from Brad Paisley’s Waitin’ on a Woman)

What’s your personal paper cut?

Larilyn poses this question here about the things that someone would have to essentially get over in order to deal with us.

I’m a freak and you’re a freak with me: What’s your personal paper cut?

I don’t think you can have something that someone has to overcome alone. I think it has to be in pairs. For example with Michelle, if someone loved BYU Cougars as much as she does, that wouldn’t be something to overcome. It wouldn’t be the papercut.

See, Edgar had the problem, although I guess that would be with anyone, but maybe there was only one he was willing to face the problem for and he would give in to the others. I think searching for something that someone is going to have to get over isn’t going to help because it will be different depending on who that other person is.

Does that make any sense?